M.I.A

I've been MIA the past week or so...  And...  Once again, I've fallin' off the notorious "Wagon."  I'm kinda getting tired of writing post about NOT being on my "diet".  I'd much rather be writing about how awesome I'm doing and how I've lost ___ amount of weight and how I've found my motivation to get my big butt up and exercise.  Unfortunately...  I'm not doing anything awesome.  Not one thing.  I've been sick with a sore throat for the past few days.  I went to the doctor yesterday.  I have Strep.  Lovely.  I'm leaving tomorrow for Disney World.  This should be interesting. Step + Vacation don’t seem to go together so well.  

Any who...  Seems like I'll continue on my streak of not being on my diet (Who does that??  This girl does.) until after Thanksgiving and then try to hop back on.  I made a promise to myself that I wasn't going to let these Holidays pass by without a care in the world about my health.  Looks as if I'm doing just that.  I'm gonna change.

I hope everyone enjoys their Turkey Day!  Be Safe!

So Not Feelin' Myself

This past week has been "ughhh", so to speak. I haven't been on my diet, I haven't exercised... I have done nothing...At. All. I'm so mad at myself. I have to find a way to stop this silly cycle. I do great for a week, then fall off. I only lost .4 the other week, which was kinda heartbreaking, and I didn't weigh this week. I know I should, but something about disappointing myself doesn't sit to well with me right now. It's been a rough week. Money problems. Car problems. Life problems. I'm irritated and stressed. I know I'm the one to blame. I'm the one that gave myself an inch and took a mile... Or two. Or four. Hopefully I'll get myself together and start kicking my own butt, but right now... I'm just not feeling myself.


I'm off to my nieces birthday party. She turned 9 yesterday. All the more reason for me to get myself together. Life is too short and time doesn't wait for anyone. I need to be around for as long as I can. That little girl is my heart. I hope everyone enjoys their weekend. :)

Weight loss and Exercise... Two Peas in a Pod.

We all know that it is possible to lose (SOME) weight without exercising...  In fact...  I just lost 4.5 pounds last week without walking, or jogging or lifting weights. The sad truth is, exercise is not only a great weight loss tool, but it’s GOOD for you… Imagine that.  I’m full of excuse as to why I don’t exercise.  I’m too  lazy (Nope, not ready to admit that just yet) tired, it’s too late, the gym is too far, it’s too cold/hot…  The list could go on and on and on…  Trust me…  I could name off about 10 more reasons as to why I don’t exercise, but I’ll spare myself the embarrassment.

 I actually LOVE the way exercising makes me feel afterwards.  I love the energy.  I love the accomplished feeling I get after I’m done… So WHY is it so hard to just get up and do something?  Anything...  A walk…  A jog... Jumping Jacks… Crunches.  Why do I have problems doing the things I know I will benefit from? I drive myself crazy.  Exercise and weight loss should come hand in hand.  I know this.  I know it’s good for me.  I know it will only help me.  I know I’m just making lame excuses, and I know no one is going to do it for me. I know that if I want to better myself, I have to do it on my own.  I can’t depend on anyone else.  Sad, but true.    

I’ve been thinking about buying myself a treadmill. The one I have doesn’t like me and if I even think of running (or even jogging) I have to hold on for dear life because it will try to throw me off…  Evil…  That’s what it is. I’m trying to weigh my options though.  I pay $20 dollars a month for a gym membership that I don’t use. (Me and working out in front of people is a whole ‘nother topic that I’ll have to get into at a later date.)  I keep trying to make myself believe that if I had a treadmill that actually worked, that I would actually get on it and exercise for a change. So…  I’m thinking…  I’ll cancel my gym membership.  Spend the $600 dollars on a new treadmill and maybe I’ll get my monies worth.  Decisions, decisions.  I’d sure hate to let $600 go down the drain because I’m too “tired” to walk into the room and turn it on.

I know one thing is for sure…  I have to start moving my booty.  Got to! No more excuses!  My health has to come first from now on… Me and exercise will be like two peas in a pod starting tomorrow... Because I really am too tired to start right now. J

Good Night All!

Ohhh MOTIVATIONNNN.... Where are you?!

Ahhh, Motivation… Sometimes it’s a battle all in itself. When you first start on your weight loss journey, you feel like nothing can stop you. You feel like you can go on and on and never give up. You feel on top of the world… But as time goes on, it seems to slip, at least for me it does. I lose sight of the real reason I started in the first place (my health) and just give up. I’ve been on this journey for longer than I liked to admit. I lose a good amount of weight and then something happens… I fall off the wagon and I let “a lack of motivation” beat the mess out of me. Every pound I gain finds its way back on me and they always seem to bring a few 15+ friends along with them. It seems to be a never ending cycle. You get fed up, and you try again… Hoping this time will be the “forever” you’re looking for.

We all know motivation is a key factor in reaching our goals. Motivation is our driving force. Motivation is also hard to maintain at times. Extremely hard for someone like me. I know what it feels like to lose a bunch of weight. I know what it feels like to be healthier. I know what it feels like to look in the mirror and be proud of what I have accomplished… But what I don’t know is; Why is it so hard to maintain and keep up the motivation that got me started in the first place?

I want this time to be different. I want to reach my goals. I want to be healthy. I want to be able to go to six flags and ride rides. I want to be able to wear the cute pair of pumps I saw at the store without fear of breaking my neck. I want. I want. I want… But in order for me to get what I want, I have to push on through the struggles. I have to push on even when I don’t want to. I have to push on even when I have a bad day. Or week. Or weeks. I have to dig down deep, keep my head up and keep pushing forward. Most importantly… I have to remind myself of the reason I started in the first place. If I have to say it every day for the rest of my life, I will. I’m in it to win it this time. So let me start right now and give myself a daily reminder as to why I’m taking this trip down weight loss lane… AGAIN.

MY MOTIVATION = MY HEALTH (It may or may not include cute shoes and awesome clothes and roller coasters too…)

Starting Over.... A.G.A.I.N

So Sunday was the start of yet another attempt to stay on track. I do so well, and then fall off the "wagon". The usual result of my slipping up is more like a broken leg/arm/nose, instead of just a few bumps and bruises. When I fall, I fall hard. It's not just a day or two... It's Weeks. At. A. Time. My last fall lasted 6 weeks... And resulted in a 13+lb. gain... I was sad. I was mad. I was depressed. I was angry. I was every bad emotion under the sun. I've been doing this for far too long not to know right from wrong and it's frustrating that I allow myself to fall into that black hole knowing that it's extremely hard for me to crawl back out. That's not the bad part though.

After my gain (which was totally expected, yet still shocking for some reason... Imagin that.), I picked myself back up (kicking and screaming) and got back on track. I did great. I did awesome. I was proud of myself. I felt good. I felt accomplished and it showed on the scale. I lost 5.4lbs. But guess what? That next week, I fell off AGAIN. Yes... Again. And guess what else...? I gained 5.3 of those pounds back. And guess one more thing...? All of those bad emotions came right back to my door and started knocking. So here I am... Here is to getting back on track and starting over. I know I want this, and I know how to get it. I guess just doing it is really the hardest part. Wish me luck, and someone please tie me to the wagon this time because I’m on it for forever!